Please stop telling boys that “Men Don’t Cry”. When you tell boys that it is not OK to cry, you are instead making them suppress their pain. You are encouraging the rhetoric, even if you don’t use the words, that it is OK for Men to get angry, but is not OK for them to cry. That Real Men should get angry instead of crying.

Who do you thing they will take out their anger on? The women and children in their lives, and others that are weaker than them.

That Anger could even become physical violence. It does become physical violence in many cases. And the more they suppress their grief and pain and tears, the stronger the anger grows.

The people in their lives who are weaker than them could have comforted them when they shared their grief, pain, fears and tears. That would have built a feeling of intimacy, love and support, soothing their pain.

Instead they have to bear the brunt of the man’s Anger, when they are not the ones who caused him the pain. That Anger will make that man feel even more alone, because the people he took the Anger out on are now scared of him. And will over time resent him, maybe even hate him, as the bursts of anger continue.

Please please tell boys it is OK to cry. Please tell the men in your lives that it is OK to cry.

Let us stop perpetuating this cycle of violence by telling boys and men that “Real Men don’t Cry”. Those words have caused too much damage for generations.

Tell the boys that when they are sad, hurt or in pain, when they want to cry, they can cry. That there is no shame in showing your grief and tears (and fears). That the shame is instead in covering up the tears (and fears) with anger, which is a tool of the Ego to protect itself. But what is the use of protecting the Ego, when we are instead hurting the people we love. The people who are not the cause of the pain. Whose only fault was that they happened to be there at that moment.

And what is the Ego actually protecting? Do you want the people you love to think of you as someone with an Anger issue? Is that the reputation you are protecting?

Isn’t it much better for your wife and kids to think of you as a human being with emotions and feelings who they love and depend on, rather than a tyrant who is to be feared and avoided?

I truly believe if boys and men are given the permission to cry, we would see much less rage, anger and violence in this world.

What do you think?